When You Don't Know How to Drive

... it's no fun owning a car. Seriously. If I were a blonde bimbo with a short skirt and a bikini top, I'd have ordered my way through this marriage. But then, we are this ordinary looking middle class couple. So when inside the car, I listen to my husband coz he's doing something pretty important which I'm ignorant about - driving.

Listening has everything to do with activity. When we've excitedly decided on a trip, I leave the house carrying water bottles, snacks, change of clothes, caps, umbrella, camera, route directions, hand bag and, batteries. He leaves with the car keys. Then he stands in the shade and asks me to get inside the car and start the AC. This because we only have open car parking at our apartment and the heat is terrible. So I get inside, get the AC on, arrange the stuff inside and wait for the grinning tormentor to get in.

Then we begin the trip. Yay!

There comes the toll gate, get the money.
I'm hungry, peel the orange and place them in my mouth.
Open the glove box I think I left that CD somewhere in there. Oops! Didn't see that hump, does it hurt?
Get that tissue box from the backseat, I can't turn coz I don't want that guy to overtake us!
Check Trip A, I need to know how many kilometers so I can purposely use some weird calculation to see the mileage we're getting.
Why aren't you taking any pictures?
Check if there are any vehicles coming from over my head.
I can't stop while you're drinking water, we're late.
Go buy it na, I'm too tired driving, so will wait for you inside the car.
See I'm driving, so I can't ask for directions and look for landmarks. You aren't doing anything! Why can't you do it?!

Sometimes I wonder if Mylo had a questionable past as a lorry driver who never got a cleaner to assist him. That's why children, studying history is important, it prepares you for the future. Anyway, one early morning he took me to the Marina and introduced me to the driver's seat. I instantly hated that insecure gear and that bloody clutch thinks no less of itself! Then he comes around and exclaims "See! Now you know how hard it is to drive. And why I'm so famished when I get home. And why I need you to do the rest of the work at home. And why it's important I need to have homemade nutritious food!"

So I made a few decisions:
Join professional driving classes
Get a maid
Get a cook

Love will keep us alive.